throwback sundays...

Love flow #3 - 02/28/03
I thought
we had levels
felt there was no need to adjust
bass or treble
but cognitive distortion
crossed our llnes of communication
and now i write lines of reminisce
instead of lines of touch and kiss
scenarios
the lone actor on this stage
i miss u
but the us i miss
is the lone reason
i'm writing on this page
manage
my feelings before i get lead astray
i stop pressing play on songs we vibed to
focus on tryin to
define the line
between
wishing and thinking
seeing and squinting
becoming and being
cus i am becoming a being
that's trying to blend back
into midtown traffic
but a broken heart stands out
facing south while my last vision of you was north
searching for a system of support
to compensate for not having yours...
just thought we had levels.

words...

sometimes i use sometimes alot.

sometimes
words
fall out
but dont
fall into place
they rest at the edge
of something great
only to fall back into creased page
saved for another day
sometimes
when words can't do justice
won't do
justice
its an injustice
to thought and experience
expression is emanicaption
and these words
my words
long for freedom
words for love
words for life
words for thought
sometimes
words rep more than a
page not completed
a memory blurry in its capture
and distorted in its release
words
are metaphors for life
trapped...
released...
flowing...
uncertain...
a reminder of what has been
and what's to come
the melody
appreciated in solitude
the face of a friend
whose been gone
a moment too long.
words are as the psalm
and the song
the calm before the downpour
standing amongst it all
only this time
they fall
in form
sometimes...
word.

breathe.

inhale...
this is how it begins..
a self portrait in gray
scales
the black and white
accentuates the detail
of life at 2 degrees
and working in retail
where everything that
glitters is fish scale
at increasing rates
and frustration arrives
quicker than the transit
that would have avoided
you being late...
a pace in the paper chase
is hard to set
with debits that look like credits
and credits
that haven't really
shown themselves to be credible
so each day ends with self
saying

self i'll level with you
this rat race 08 thing,
i can see its messing with you
but give thanks and
doze off to this Coltrane
tomorrow we get up
and grind at it again

exhale
and this how it ends…

get

getting in...
shape
style
right frame of mind
summer

getting out of...
trouble
debt
my dreams

getting through...
rough spots
writer's block
books!
underemployment
the summer

success...

april was a slow month.
may looks alot better.
school done.
life beginning.
let that bitch breathe...

april fool

on the edge of an abyss
looking into the unknown
and seeing nothing past
wanting a new cell phone
im an april fool
entering like a lamb
with a yearning for lamb
roaming danforth
through the moonlight
driven for a gyro and sprite
hunger replaced by memories
of streetlights
and silent walks home
scripting compositions of
contemplations
daily confrontations
and situations involving
post convocation locations
and how much i can spare
for vacation
'take me to another place'
with streetfront space
a stoop or some crates
for me and mines
to sit on
while youth run
in streets
singing songs
in the key of ...
im an april fool
and every fool
has their day
and everyone
has something to say
to me
at this stage
of the game
i'm steadily building
a city of salt
on sound
planning principles
far from invincible
a simpleton
with synonyms
april fool

pearl

a face
a friend
a teammate
a cat from round the way
a face in the crowd
a wingman
a "peace, long time no see"
a memory of a simpler time
a point guard
a person "known"
a part of the fam
a statistic
a tear shed
a moment of disbelief
a call for peace in our streets
a light out too soon
a tree removed
a victim
a reminder
a reality check
a cousin
a son
a brother
a lover
a father
all this
and more...
sadly, he was.

reflections...

things have been hectic in the last bit.
internally hectic.
i'm slowly coming to terms with some things.
i need to recalibrate a bit,
for what should/could be an important time.

just think

what if you could just blink yourself away???

for a year, a month, a day, an hour, a minute, a second.

just blink...

and post-blink,
you could return
refocused.
recharged.
renewed.

what would your direction be post-blink...

brickworks....

i tried to build a house
out of a ton of bricks
but failed
i needed to build a home
cus these bricks
were the formation
of gastric movements
a home
like the one
a child would dread
returning to
where what goes in
cant come out
unless it breaks out.
a home that felt like prison.
an alcatraz for feeling.

a fresh thought... unfinished...

being fresh is essential...
from the state of dress
to the state of your intentions
and residence
two days into the new year
and two years removed from the day
she left you
on the boulevard
frozen
but still fresh
im on a path to freshness
99 miles away from a 100 mile diet
and moving from previously frozen
areas codes and account modes
to fresher sidewalks
and fresher thoughts
from national wide chain to
street corner market
i got targets...
for where i need to be