reflections...

things have been hectic in the last bit.
internally hectic.
i'm slowly coming to terms with some things.
i need to recalibrate a bit,
for what should/could be an important time.

just think

what if you could just blink yourself away???

for a year, a month, a day, an hour, a minute, a second.

just blink...

and post-blink,
you could return
refocused.
recharged.
renewed.

what would your direction be post-blink...

brickworks....

i tried to build a house
out of a ton of bricks
but failed
i needed to build a home
cus these bricks
were the formation
of gastric movements
a home
like the one
a child would dread
returning to
where what goes in
cant come out
unless it breaks out.
a home that felt like prison.
an alcatraz for feeling.

a fresh thought... unfinished...

being fresh is essential...
from the state of dress
to the state of your intentions
and residence
two days into the new year
and two years removed from the day
she left you
on the boulevard
frozen
but still fresh
im on a path to freshness
99 miles away from a 100 mile diet
and moving from previously frozen
areas codes and account modes
to fresher sidewalks
and fresher thoughts
from national wide chain to
street corner market
i got targets...
for where i need to be

fish

so my method of making money nowadays consisting of cutting, serving, learning fish.
so naturally i end up smelling like fish.
generally, i despise this part of my job.
the smell hangs, ppl relocate away from you on the subway.
my sister comments "i hope you don't ever meet people after work, without showering."

so like any other day i smelled fish, but today the smell of fish briefly took me back to childhood.
venturing with my mom to chinatown and kensington market on saturday for the weekly fish and fabric trips . fish (save for the immaculate saltfish aka salted cod) for me was on par with vegetables, i hated it as a kid, so i hated these trips.

we never had kool-aid or candy trips.
fish then. fish now. go figure.

being here

its been awhile
since a song has stood out
and stood up so poignantly
to reflect
a state
my state of mind
the song while strong
pales in your absence.

things i will do when finals are over...

- finish j. jacobs
- start r. ellison & m.e. dyson
- take in "in rainbows" & "the cool" & "jazzmoney"
- take in "no country for old men" & "american gangster" among others...
- write like its the new black
- exhale